The Seven Signs Your Instructor’s a Pussy

Anti-violent mantras from the mouths of  martial artists

If you spent any time in a martial arts uniform, somewhere, someone along the line has told you to never use your art for violence.

I call bullshit.

There is CLEARLY a time to use force, if there isn’t, what the heck are we doing all of this for?

People get attacked and raped every day (there’s your happy thought). Violence is real and it happens in every community. If you think you can talk your way out of any situation and will never have to resort to violence I have a great tip on a horse…

The “never use violence” philosophy perplexed and confused me throughout my self defense and martial arts journey. There were times I even used these terms myself because I felt it was something I was obligated to say, like a disclaimer before an advertisment. To be honest, people like to hear that they don’t have to fight, it gives them some relief knowing that if they train and prepare, they will never have to fight.

But that’s a lie and it’s irresponsible.

Training with the hope that you’ll never fight is like learning to swim with a fear of water. You wouldn’t practice swimming so you don’t have to swim. At some point you’re going to get wet and in  deep water so you better train like it’s going to happen.

Now on to the Seven Signs Your Instructor’s a Pussy

1.”Always Walk Away”

Do you mean turn your back on a potential threat? Do you mean run away? What if I have my kids there? Do I leave them?

Seriously, I don’t understand this statement and for the life of me I really don’t know why someone would tell another human being this…EVER.

Between normal, law abiding people there should never be a reason to use force. You can disagree without fighting and most times you do. But then there are times someone just doesn’t want to “agree to disagree” and take it to the next level. Now it doesn’t matter if the fight is over a parking space or your child’s life – the level of danger is the same and should be handled as such.  A push is just a push, but if you slip and crack your skull you’re still just as dead.

You should never turn your back on any threat and you should NEVER let them to get close enough to hit you. Now it’s not up to me (or anybody else) to TELL YOU you have to use force, just as it’s not up to some chuckle-head to tell you you have to walk away. To fight or not to fight is a personal decision that  you have to make.

I only tell you the best tactical time to use force (which happens to also fall within the guidelines for legal use of force). The decision to take advantage of this time is yours and yours alone.

2. “I train to Fight so I don’t have to Fight”

Bruce Lee gets credit for this quote – the same guy who claims to have fought in “hundreds” of street fights. One of his “fights” was even depicted in the movie Dragon. So what gives? You’re training  to fight AND still fighting?!?! Well if the legend of Bruce Lee is true, even the Kung Fu Master himself felt the need to “put foot to ass” from time to time. So let’s green light your decision to do the same.

I like this quote better “I train to fight so I know how to fight.”

When you know how to fight you get a certain “Alphaness” (I’m totally copyrighting that). Alphaness is the subconscious signal  you put out when you really know how to protect yourself. This only happens when you have true knowledge and confidence in your skill and the will to follow through.

3. “Violence Never Solves Anything”

Maybe not, but it sure stops a lot of stuff like rape, murder, WWII, the invasion of Iraq…should I keep going?
There are many people on this earth that use violence to intimidate and take whatever  they want. These animals only understand power and pain. The only way to stop them is with more power and pain.

4. “Violence is Never the Answer”

On the contrary, sometimes violence is the only answer. It is an immediate and effective means of correcting anti-social behavior.

Violence is a short term solution to an immediate problem.

I wouldn't try to rehabilitate a criminal by beating him on a daily basis and I wouldn’t try to counsel a man who was kicking in the door to my house.

5. “Use Non-Lethal Techniques First”

This notion comes from the “escalation of force” concept that is always misinterpreted. Escalation of force applies to police work and basically comes down to verbal commands, physical and mechanical use of force and finally deadly use of force.

If they don’t listen, you use your hands, feet, pepper spray, ASP, taser, etc to get them to comply. If they appear to want to hurt you or others and are capable you can use deadly force.

This does NOT apply to technique. Somehow people have twisted this into meaning I start with pain compliance, then go to joint locks, then strikes and chokes…IT”S NONSENSE.

When it comes down to self defense once you’ve made the decision to use force you have only one obligation – survive and stop the threat as fast as possible by whatever means possible.

Messing around with complicated  joint locks and pressure points only creates opportunity for your attacker to injure you. Your best bet is to use methods that will stop your attacker dead in his tracks.

There is no classification in any law book that details what techniques you can use.

There’s nothing that is “banned by the government” or “outlawed” either. No mention of technique or style. There’s only use of force and deadly force. Which means there are times you can use force and there are times you can use deadly force.

Use of force cases focus on the circumstances of the situation and use terms like credible,  reasonable and duty to retreat.

Take this situation for example:

You’re approached by some young thug  by your car in an empty parking lot.
He asks you for some spare change and you say you don’t have any.
He continues to ask and you decide to back away, he follows you.

Can you use force to defend yourself?

Is he a “credible threat”? YES.

Can you “retreat” without putting yourself at risk? NO.
He’s following you and if you turn your back on him, you will be put at risk

Is it “reasonable”to assume that his intent is more than just spare change? YES.
You told him “NO” and he continued to stalk you. His intention must be more than what he has indicated.

Can you defend yourself right now? YES.

Can you use deadly force? Possibly.Depends on the details and your lawyer. More times than not, if you’re outmatched you may be able to use deadly force.

The bottom line, you don’t have to wait for him to physically attack you to use force, which brings me to…

6. “Always let your attacker, attack first.”

This goes along with “always let him throw the first punch” which works in the school yard with 4th graders, but in the real world we call the guy who waits for the first punch the victim.

Waiting for the punch or the grab is too late. A good street fighter is going to attack you with a barrage of punches and stabs and try to beat you into the earth.

Yet everywhere in every martial arts and self defense class millions of students around the world, train to wait. What’s the first thing you do in self defense class? OK line up with your partner and let him grab you – STOP, there’s the problem. You’re training to wait for the attack. You’re training to let someone into your space, put their hands on you and attack.

Against a real threat this is just too late. If they can put their hands on you, they’re too close.

What you need to do is put yourself in a position of advantage and identify the intent of your threat BEFORE he makes a move.
We cover that in SDTS Module 1.

Then you attack in a way that takes into consideration that your attacker is armed, has intent, has friends, is bigger and stronger than you (all in Module 1 as well).

7. “Always fight ‘honorably’.

Let’s make one thing clear – LIVE your life HONORABLY, but FIGHT DIRTY.

Once the decision is made to go, then you need to go full bore, no BS. Never put yourself at risk by training in tactics that enable your attacker to “slip away.” In fact, the safest and most humane thing to do is to end the conflict as fast as possible.

Your safety comes first – not your attacker’s safety. Going into a real fight with the notion that you’re superior fighter just because you got some time in a gym and underestimating your attacker is a HUGE mistake.

Most of the scariest people you will ever meet, never spent a day in a dojo. What makes them dangerous isn’t their strength or their techniques, it’s their will to do anything it takes to get what they want.

You must be willing to do the same.

Hey, I get it, you don’t want to hurt anyone. Good, normal people don’t fantasize about hurting others. There’s not an argument that can’t be solved with decent communication. That’s why most “fights” don’t go beyond the verbal stage.

But there are people who use violence to get want they want if they think it will work. To defeat these animals you must be willing to do whatever it takes to save yourself and the people you care about.

It’s the only true way.

See You on the Inside…

The Self Defense Company